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Swollen eyes and a broken heart…

It is so hard to get a grip on this pain. I thought I was doing pretty well, but yesterday I was washed in my grief and pain all over again. For the first time in a while I cried myself to sleep. I woke up with swollen eyes and one hell of a headache. Grief is like an unwanted houseguest. They overstay their welcome, suck up all of your energy and leave a mess when they finally go. But just when you think you have everything put back in its place, and  it’s okay to make plans for the extra space, it walks back through the door. I have said all along I had no control over my emotions, and this was one of the hardest parts of the loss. It is still true after five months. Five months! It seems like years to me right now. Years since I held that blonde little boy with a scraped knee, years since I comforted him when he had his heart broken and years since I heard him call my name, hug me and flash that crazy bright smile.. I will never be over this pain. Our family will always be missing a part of us. I will get through this period of grief.. Until the next one comes….

6 thoughts on “Swollen eyes and a broken heart…”

  1. I am not sure how I have been drawn to you. I think we share the feeling of a loss so great that our hearts seek those that we can help and those that can help us. I have experienced many many losses and I know those emotions so very very well. I would like to give you a sign of hope today. Please look to the sky for there is a star that shines brighter than all others and that star is yours. Keep the light on you will see!

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    1. Thank you so much! This has been my only loss and it has me in pieces most days. I am grateful that even in your pain you reach out to help others.. Made me smile this morning..

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    2. “Hope is all we need for that is all we have left, without it we are lost”. It is alright to grieve and cry until one day all that you have left are good memories that will last forever. Healing is on your way. Thank you for sharing, you are a courageous one. Find the biggest and brightest star in the sky. Give it a smile and whisper your wish with a smile that your wish come true.

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  2. I am so sorry your having such a hard time sweetie. How I wish I could do something to make it better, but I can’t. All I can do is love you with all my heart and always be close when and if you need me.

    I Love You

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