The me I lost when Arthur died is forever fighting to find her way back. My current self keeps pushing her away because she is an ever present reminder of what we together have lost. How could it ever be possible to become that whole woman again when a part of me is forever gone? How can I ever truly feel complete?

I am amazed however,  at the very fact that every day I put one foot in front of the other and function quite normally. I have met so many Mothers that grieve everyday and we together are a collective power of strength. A strength that comes at great cost. We have become almost superhuman. We walk through life daily in excruciating pain. It matters not how much time has past. Ask any grieving mother.  We smile when all we want to do is cry and scream. Even in our best life moments, the cloud is always there.  If you are a grieving mother, my respect for you is beyond measure and my love for you is endless!