I would be a horrible wildlife photographer! I would never be able to just watch big animals kill little ones.. I heard a horrible screaching in my backyard and thought my cat had a squirrel. . So I threw something at the cat to get it away. (Didn’t hit the cat directly, don’t grimace:)) Turns out it was a Cardinal.. 😯 So, now I am rehabilitating this guy.. He is not happy at the moment. I think I need to learn to let nature take its course more often.. 😕
I have been Reflecting on how much my life has changed this past year.. When I look at the entire picture, I realize the only thing that is different is that Arthur is not here. Everything else is pretty much the same. What has changed however is me. I am not the person I was a year ago. I have more respect for the moments of time that pass in an instant. My view of the world around me is more clear I think. I tend to see people in their true light more, and have way less patience for bullshit!! When your faced with the rest of your life without someone you love, when you wake up everyday without them, you MUST look for something good, find every single positive moment of the day.. This is what makes the rest of your time here without them bearable. I can’t stomach negativity anymore. It eats at me when I am around it. My light is quickly dimmed when I subject myself to it. So, I just don’t. I go to town when I have to, and only talk to those people in my life that aren’t comsumed by regret and disappointment. People that don’t continue to bathe themselves in the shadow of pity. I’m human, I have moments when I ache so deep within that I do feel sorry for myself. But when I do I remember what I have more than outweighs what I don’t. The morning blesses us with a new beginning. Be grateful for that each day and things will fall into place.. Peace!!!
I had an entire post written out yesterday morning. Just as I finished it I walked into the kitchen for just a minute, and for some reason, my computer just shut down. It wasn’t a restart like when it updates. It was off. This has never happened with this computer. And of course, I didn’t save the post.. So… I am taking it as a sign not to use that thought. I thought it was an awesome post by the way! I suppose the Powers that be did not think so..
I am learning to go with the flow more. Letting the Universe guide me, listening to my heart, or my gut if you will. I think listening to our “gut” is really just paying attention to our natural intuition. It is our inner being, our higher selves telling us the thing that is best for us in that moment. If we go with it instead of thinking it through, it usually ends with the right decision. Maybe it is God telling you to back the hell up and rethink this decision!! Whatever it is, wherever it comes from, LISTEN! If you talk to a hundred people, they will each have a story about how intuition either saved their butts because they paid attention or, the did not listen and the outcome was not so great! Listening to the voices in your head does not always mean your crazy. 😛
And for a moment I was suffocating. But something, something way down deep within me grabbed hold and pulled me out of the darkness. I saved myself.. I survived because there is much to do. I live on because I am loved and needed. I continue the journey because the place I am going is where we will all find Peace in the end. Love and Peace are the ultimate end. At the end of this physical life, there will be only unconditional Love and the Peace will be the reward for all of our struggles, our fears and for some, the pain of our lives here on this Earth. This knowing, this understanding I now have of what awaits makes it more joyful to go through each day. Our travels here will lead us to Paradise, where our loved ones and God are waiting.
And in the end the love you take, is equal to the love you make The Beatles
I think I am more excited about Wolfgang’s birthday than he is. I want so much to erase all of the pain from this last year for him. He is our baby. Wolfgang has struggled his entire life for normalcy. He came into this world fighting for his life and he is truly a miracle.
He was born with a severe congenital heart defect. Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome. His left ventricle did not develop in vitro. He has endured three open heart surgeries, many bouts of pulmonary problems and several close calls. His home for the first 5 years was primarily Texas Children’s Hospital. He won the hearts of every nurse and doctor he came in contact with. He never complained, he never once questioned why he had to go through all of this. At one point he was on 29 different medications, just to keep him alive. We were told there was a high potential for severe handicaps, and the possibility he would not even survive beyond the first week. Now jump forward 14 years. Wolfgang is a caring, amazing young man. Very intelligent, articulate and a joy to be with. This kid, we thought would never grow, (he was a tiny little thing) is extremely tall for his age, and quite good looking. 🙂 He takes no medications other than an aspirin each day. He has always shown strength and compassion.This past year has been difficult for all of us. Wolfgang has grown up and been such a big help to me and my healing. I am so very proud and blessed to be his mom… Happy Birthday Boo!! I love you to the moon and back!!
Life Without Arthur 