When this nightmare of ours first started almost a year ago, I was desperate for answers to my questions about my own Spirituality. One of the first Spiritual teacher I came upon was Dr. Wayne Dyer. His movie “The Shift” was such an amazing eye opener for me. I have since read several of his books, watched every video and interview he had recorded. He truly is a man of God, a beautiful soul and an amazing force of life.. God’s speed Dr. Dyer.. Thank you for the peace you brought the world, and me..
One of Artie’s best friends came by yesterday. It was so good to see him. It was the first time he had been to the house since Arthur died. There had been some strains on their friendship. Nothing either of them had done, but it was hard on them both.We have missed having this kid around. He was such a big part of our lives.
We sat and talked, we cried and we laughed. It was so good to finally spend some time with this kid. It was easy to see how much he has matured and grown this past year. It was a visit I needed to continue my healing. It brought me such comfort to know this young man still has Arthur in his heart, and he is doing so well.
I hope Arthur can see how much he was loved by so many people. I pray that he smiles when he realizes how many lives he touched and still does even now. So many lives were altered when he left on his adventure. Lives that will never be the same but will always be better for knowing and loving him.
The Answers Truly Are Within
I can’t explain what I feel. There are no words in the dictionary to cover the grief we feel when we lose our children. We have no name, nothing to identify us in a crowd. But when we see a mom, a mom that knows, we recognize them immediately. It’s like a signal we send out to the universe to draw in the understanding only another mother has. It is quite beautiful really, how God takes care of us. Our children are not gone from us at all. They physically have left this Earth, but they are forever with us, just as all of our loved ones that have passed are. Just as God always is. And this… This is a beautiful reality once you truly get it.
I have had some super dark moments since Artie died. I blamed everyone and everything on his suicide, even myself. I have spent a year looking, even begging for answers. I have come to realize there are no answers, the truth is just that this has happened to my family because it was to be. It does not make the pain go away, and it still sucks everyday that I can’t get one of those hugs. But for the first time in my life, I have genuine faith in something. Faith that we are all connected by the Source, by God. We are all the same in our hearts and our Souls are one. We are light and we are energy. We choose our roads long before we come to this life and our Souls know the why. If you are lost, unsure of the way to go, just calm yourself, close your eyes and listen to your Spirit. It will always take you on the right path. Have faith in this, it will never let you down.
Peace, Happiness and Love to you all!!
Just the two of us…
Tomorrow is the first day of school in our area. We had just started school last year just a week before Artie died last year. Needless to say, our school did not go quite as planned. We struggled through it the best we could. So here we are, a new school year, and for the first time ever, I will start it with only one child in our home. Wolfgang has never started a school year with out Arthur. He has Never done a science experiment, a field trip, or cooking class without his brother. These things were ripped from us in the blink of an eye. But, Wolfgang and I are going to be fine. We will learn, play, explore and carry Arthur with us every moment of the way. It will be a new adventure for us.
Remember to kiss your children and tell them you love them as you send them off tomorrow.
I wish you Peace and happiness… Pass it on! 😀🐸🌼🐱🐥
The greatest lesson of all..
I am always looking for signs, listening for the slightest whisper of your voice. I know when you are with me. I can feel a heaviness that comes on suddenly. It’s like the memories that burn in my brain. For the longest time, this moments made me break down. They still do for a moment, and then I remind myself it’s because I feel you here with me. So, I take a deep breath and just talk to you, or go about what I’m doing, knowing you are sharing the moment with me. This doesn’t take away the pain and I still miss you terribly. But I am able to function now. My days are not just wake up and sleep anymore. I finally realized, all of the time I spent trying to wrap my head around it all was just healing, giving my heart time. That is where the answers are. All of the answers we need for survival, the answers to what lies ahead, all of the answers for life. Within our hearts. Once you get out of your head, when you let go of your ego and trust what your heart tells you, that is when you will have all of your answers.. Thanks for teaching me this Artie.. I love you my boy!