I find it hard to believe we are at the end of May. Time truly is going by extremely fast. I am learning so many things about life, my spirituality and what is in store for our future.  Finding your place in all of this is as simple as looking inside yourself.  What are you drawn to? Where  does your mind take you when you are alone and quiet? Those we love that have left the physical before us are still here to help. If you are lost, if you feel your direction on this journey has come to a crossroad, ask your loved ones and your guides to help you find the right path. It is most likely right in front of you..

Have a wonderful Sunday, go out into nature… Sit up next to a tree, hang your feet in natural water or walk on the beach.  Just listen for a bit, and the earth will speak to you..  Be grateful…. Peace!

Today was a little bittersweet. I am having fun watching Wolfgang get ready for his first date Friday. He is excited and I love seeing it come together. I am positive Arthur would be excited for him as well. Then there is the knowing.. Knowing Arthur will never have a life here physically. No dates, no graduation, no college, no wife, no children… Some days, no matter how hard I try not to, I still feel like we have been robbed. It really is aggravating that I can’t get beyond that feeling. I don’t what to spend the rest of my days saying “If Artie was here” But it is out of my control unfortunately.  I wake up every day with the intention of moving forward, I really do. But it is always here, the loss. Like a damn bump in the road. I’m going along just fine then BOOM!! It is right in front of me and I run right into it out of no where.. I have to just keep replacing my shocks I suppose, and stay on the road ahead of me..

Hey sweet boy,

Today has been one of those days. I have fought back the tears almost all day. You know friends of ours are dealing with a devastating loss today. Maybe it just brings on the heaviness when we feel for someone going through the grief and pain of such a loss. Today is also Cadences’ birthday. I couldn’t help think of how it must be difficult even with you being in the wonderful place your are to miss out being with her. I know how much you love her. She acts so much like you. She has your attitude.. 😉 I miss your smile today baby. And I could use a hug…

Our lives really are just chapters in a personal book.  Broken down by occurrences like  births, deaths, marriages and divorces. The story can go many ways, with lots of twists and turns..  If we are lucky the chapters flow well,  one right into another.  We continue on, each chapter with a new perspective perhaps, the chapters being each a new decade if you will.  I think many of us would agree that each decade of our lives is different. We often say oh man, my 20’s were great or,my 30’s were the best!! For me my 20’s were wonderful. I had my first two children, had a pretty decent marriage for most of those years.. 😃.  Lost  a few people I was close to and several family members on my husbands side.  We thought things were hard.. Then in my 30’s I decided I really wanted more. Maybe it was the marrying early, having kids young, blah, blah, blah… The marriage ended and I was off seeking new adventures with two pre-teens in tow. Boy did I find adventure!! I met the love of my life that year. I was 34 years old.. A younger, Italian guy that I can’t imagine my life without now!! Back then it was just about the hair and the jeans… 😋. We had Arthur two years later and Wolfgang almost two years after that. Kurt had become a daddy to my two as well. The time has flown by. Seventeen years later, I look back on all of the joys, all of the heartache and I am proud of where we are. Now, at 50+ years old, the chapters of my life continue. The pages wet with a million tears and stained with coffee but they are my chapters. I am the one writing the book after all..