I have said many times that I have no regrets. As I get older and more honest with myself, I realize this is the biggest lie I have ever told. I wish I had not married so young and had lived on my own a while. I wish I had been braver, taken more risks and climbed that mountain. Taking better care of myself would be at the top of the list. But of all of my regrets, the ones that haunt me are the things I did not say to those who are no longer here. Making sure they knew how important their very existance was in my life. And above all else, I would give anything if I could have only made sure he knew I would slowly die without him.
I wrote this in the airport the other day but forgot to post it..
I remember our last big trip together. We left Kansas, drove to Oklahoma and flew into Houston. We got stuck at the airport because the weather was bad! I remember every second of that trip. We looked up movie stars to see how tall they were. I can still remember every one. We listened to classic rock music all the way, and sang right along! But… You skating down the hall at the hotel was by far my most memorable moment! I still have that photo. Your laughter and smile that night really keeps me going some days!
As I sit here watching families coming and going on Summer adventures I am not sad. I am grateful for the memories I have of you. We were a good team Artie! Every day was so full with you in it. Thank you for loving me kiddo and choosing me for your mom!
Yesterday was a tough day. Working on getting pool ready, setting up for summer, once again without you. I could hear your laughter as I thought of summers past. You always loved having parties and get togethers. You were our best Bartender ever! I miss you, I miss those days, I miss us…