We heal from the pain and agony of child loss. We move forward and survive because we must. We do not however forget our babies. We carry thousands of memories with us every moment. Their birth, the first tooth, when they learn to walk, and so many more. They are there to comfort and remind us of the blessing of having these souls for but a brief time here on this Earth. My memories of Arthur make me smile and laugh, some make me cry because I so miss making more with him.
A young mother came into our store yesterday. Following close behind was a little blonde boy in denim overalls. He had the slightest little curls at the nape of his neck and a smile that was only outshined by the love I saw in his moms eyes for him. It took my breath away as I traveled back in time when Arthur was little. He was full of such wonder and I was completely in love with him. Everything about him was perfect and he saw only good and love in the world. We gardened together from the time he was crawling, him with little curls at the nape of his neck and his denim overalls. Those were precious days, moments of sheer joy and they will forever be what brings a smile to my face and peace to my broken heart.
Well, here we are again. Facing another year without our Arthur. It is also another year Kurt will be away at work when I bring in the New Year. This I dislike more every year!
I have decided no resolutions his year. Instead I will focus on what I will not do. No more waiting for what I want for myself and my family. I will make it happen! No more procrastinating… I will tackle tasks as they present themselves. More meditation and reflection. More organizing and less clutter. I will grow more food and produce less waste and my health will become a main priority. I will smile at strangers, laugh more, be more compassionate and always try helping those in need.
I will be sure my family knows just how very much I love them, no matter what and always!!
From my heart I wish all of you an amazingly happy, content and prosperous 2017!!