The thing about grief is that if you let it, it will destroy you. It becomes so powerful that you forget who you are. Especially the grief that comes from losing a child. It slowly sucks the very life out of you. I have been on this journey for 20 months now. There is no way to describe the pain. Mom’s that have lost children have no name. We are ghost like figures that walk through a world of the living. Even on my best days I feel seperate. I am doing all of the things that make me happy at the moment. This helps. Absorbing the calmness of nature, breathing in the air as I work in the garden. Spending time in the sunshine is healing for me. Watching my chickens and all of the wildlife around me is strangely peaceful. I imagine at times that the birds, the squirrels and even the little possum that hangs out here know I am hurting. They seem to put on comical little shows for me and it helps me forget. It is like having a bunch of furry, feathered therapists all around me.