Death is a part of living. We can’t avoid it, can’t stop it and can only prolong it if it is meant to go on. We all realize early on that someday we will die. We lose pets and older family members as we age ourselves.Hopefully, we will die at an old age, leaving behind a legacy with our children and grandchildren. But sometimes the Natural order gets turned around. Losing a child is not natural. Life is not supposed to go this way. It changes everything you thought you knew about everything. Nothing is how it should be and it never will be again. We can go on, we can live our lives, we can be happy if we choose too. Or we can become bitter and stop really living. Going through the motions of our day, getting up, eating, working, the normal stuff sometimes becomes robotic. For myself, I think I will always have days like this. Just getting through them without a thought. But God knows, I am trying to LIVE! I don’t want to become bitter and hateful like so many moms I have met. I can’t tell you truthfully that I am totally happy anymore. My life is not at all what I wanted it to be at this point. I will never have Arthur here like before, and that changes everything. I will always be missing a part of myself. The adventure seeking part of me, the laugh until it hurt part and the live life to the fullest part of me all left this earth with him. Sounds harsh I know. This is my reality though. But I am blessed. If it were not for my husband and children, I can honestly tell you that I would not be here writing this blog. Because of them I continue to have love, compassion and still some hope for the future.