I muddle through my days. Even though I feel I have healed greatly from my grief, there are still these moments when I just want to scream! I still can’t wrap my mind around it sometimes. I often still have this glimmer of hope that it is all just a long drawn out nightmare and soon I will awaken. If only this were true.  He is really gone. His face will never light up a room again and I will never be the same.