It is these moments, when I find myself awake in the middle of the night that are the worst. Knowing you are no longer in this house with us is agonizing even now. It is crazy that sometimes I almost forget. Like for a brief second everything is normal and then my world comes crashing down around me all over again. It is so quiet in these early hours. I can’t wait for the day to get started and for the noise to silence the screaming in my head.