It is just so hard some days to get it together. As time goes on, thankfully I have fewer days like this. Today is a heavy day for me. No reason, it’s not a holiday or a birthday. There was nothing we did on this date as a family that sparks a memory. It is just another day without my son. Another day that I came into the kitchen this morning, stopped at his bedroom door and wished with everything I have that he was in there fast asleep, just like I do every morning. But, he isn’t. He never will be sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee with me, groaning about school work, eating every five minutes.. I will never hear that amazing laugh or be blinded by that smile. He will never get ready for a date, ask for the keys to the car, or borrow money for gas.. His body spray, he liked Old Spice, will never fill the air in this house again. Over a year now, and the reality of it all is still so hard to take in..