I have been very distracted lately. Can’t put my finger on why though. Maybe the Eclipse coming up has me off kilter. I have been awake all night, literally, all night. This has not happened to me for a while. I of course have had a great deal on my mind tonight. My mind is a mess most days. Just trying to keep up with the emotional roller coaster has put a strain on my thinking. If I don’t write down EVERY single thing, I will forget something. If it wasn’t for Wolfgang helping out, the poor animals would likely starve. I know the pain will ease, but I look forward to having some kind of brain activity that is not all about the loss. My heart will never let go of Arthur but I so wish I could let go of the despair I feel.