It drives me insane when I feel things are getting better then, BAM! I fall apart out of the blue. I am so tired of crying, tired of the pain and yes there is still agony! I miss him so much that I would give anything to have him here to hold.. Or him hold me would be the best right now! Everything reminds me of him. I need to mow but I know I will cry the entire time. Seeing him in my minds I mowing every week. I get in the car and realize he is not riding shot gun and I ache for him. Taking Izzy out, folding clothes, trying to get all of the garbage to the road before the trash truck comes. Every damn thing I do. I do know with all my heart how much I still have to live for but, there is a part of me that can’t wait to go to him, hug him and hear about all he has been doing since he left us!!