As grateful to the powers that be as I am for this great weather, I can’t help but wish Artie was here, ( in the flesh :)) to enjoy it. He loved being outside so much. Even if it was working in the yard or on the house. He loved walking and riding his bike. I do miss that kid more on nice days than bad. But, I am still enjoying this while it lasts. I am so anxious to get things in the garden and watch life renew itself around me. My birds are back in force already, feeders are full, squirrel bricks and corn out, and my hummingbird feeders are hanging. Even had a few bunnies out and about early this morning. I feel a sense of peace honestly the last few days. So many wonderful things are ahead of us and I intend to enjoy every moment. We can enjoy life, live it to the fullest and still hold Arthur and his memory close. I love him with all my heart and he me and our family. I know with every fiber of my being that love never truly dies.
Something I have heard over and over again from mom’s is that the loss of our child creates a fog. Long lasting, heavy, pea soup kind of fog. I have found at times the fog is a comfort really. It shields me from the times when the pain is so piercing that surely I would die from it if not for the cusion of the fog.
Yesterday while driving home on the Blue Water Highway, the fog was extremely thick. Blue Water Hwy. runs along the coast between Galveston and Surfside Texas. Why they call it Blue Water I will never know. We certainly don’t see blue water often along the Gulf of Mexico. But anyway, back to my thought.
As I was driving, my mind was concidering FOG.. It can be heavy and almost seem endless. It can make you miserable, even strike fear in some. But, eventually, if you keep going forward, driving on through it, it does eventually let up. You remember it, it is always in the back of your mind, you may even tell stories about the time you were in a thick, nasty fog and how relieved you were to reach the other side. As mom’s of loss, we will find our way out of the fog. For now, I embrace it when I need it. All of the stages of grief are necessary, even the fog!!
Have a blessed, hopefully sunny, clear day!! Love you all..