Coming up on eight months

When Arthur died, almost eight months ago, our lives were perfect. We were an awesome family. We did everything together. There was laughter, fun, music and adventure all of the time. We had the same kind of issues other families had but we were different. I thought in that moment, the moment I found my boy, that it was all over. My world I could not imagine would ever have any fulfillment or happiness again. I had all but decided that my daily existence would be spent waiting for my time here to be over, the sooner the better as far as I was concerned. Thank goodness I have changed my way of thinking. I am not the same woman I was that day, before I went into his room. That person no longer exists. The life we all knew is gone, along with Arthur’s physical self.

But… My life is full. I have love, and family. I have friends, old and new. I have my health and I know Arthur is still with us in spirit. My own spirituality has grown so much. No longer do I question what is to come. There is no fear in dying for me. Life here is but an extension of our spirit selves. A journey of learning, solving and growing. Our loved ones never truly leave us. They help guide us and they are always with us to share life’s ups and downs. This is such comfort for me. I will miss the hugs from Arthur physically always, but I am content with the ones I get from him spiritually now.. I am far from healed of the pain and grief. I do not kid myself about that. My family and I are continuing our adventure together, just with more gratitude and love in our hearts.

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