What Child Loss Really Feels Like.

It is the nights that are hardest. The fear of nightmares keep me awake. The more time that passes, the more alone I feel. It is as if I have this entirely different person inside of me. She controls my thoughts completely. Not really my emotions as I don’t have many of those anymore. Someone not even I am familiar with. How  are the people in my life supposed to recognize her? I wish she would just go away.