I am trying so hard to get some normalcy back. Our oldest son and his family are coming to visit soon and we are so excited. I enjoy when people come to visit us. I have this overwhelming dislike for going places. Especially places we used to frequent with Arthur. Makes no sense to most I’m sure. If we are here at home, I can focus on things to do. If we go places, places without him, I can’t focus on anything except the fact that he is not with us. Selfish on my part I suppose and it has kind of turned me into a hermit. I don’t think that some of our family understands. I can’t face some places without him.
At one point, my daughter told me I was becoming anti-social. It was just so hard to be out and about without Jason. Everywhere I looked was someplace he should be. It was hard to be around people who cheerfully went on their way without the weight of grief. It was easier to be in places where I could control things a bit.
Exactly!! I am sorry we are on this journey together but it is comforting knowing someone understands!!