Reinventing Myself

Other than missing Arthur, one of the hardest things I deal with is reinventing myself. It is hard to explain, but even though I have other children and we have the grandchildren, it is still very difficult to figure out who I am now.  I am still a mom and a wife. But it is different. Maybe it is the need to fill the part of me that is missing. It could also be me searching desperately for anything to help me feel the Joy and contentment I used to. It is like watching a movie, a long suspenseful movie, and I have no idea how it will end. I am hoping for and lovely, happy ending. But I didn’t write the story so I feel I have no power to direct the story.