Idle Minds… 

The last few days have been pretty laid back. House full of teenagers, rain, rain and more rain. It is wonderful to see the sunshine today.
Sometimes I can feel the life being sucked out if me if I don’t stay busy. I am not sure if it is entirely healthy but as long as I am doing something, anything there is no time for regrets, endless questions or what ifs. When there is down time, it is easy for my mind take over and it can be depressing as hell. I prefer staying busy, even if it is doing things I am not necessarily thrilled with, like housework. I am writing more, that helps and spending time with Wolfgang is the best remedy for my troubled mind. Life changes are tough in general, but when they are not changes you have chosen yourself, they are difficult to adjust to. My emotions are fickle as well some days. One moment I am looking forward to the new garden this year. It will be bigger and hopefully produce a much larger harvest.  I am going to work on a drawing tomorrow. Then the realization hits me that Artie will not be beside me along the way. He was my garden buddy since he was tiny. He crawled in the dirt before anywhere else.  He knew all about the herbs, how to harvest them and what they were used for. He even made a special seasoning mix. We had many talks and special moments in the garden. I will miss those times for the rest of my life.