In the still of the morning I lie awake listening for your voice. I am overcome with pain once again. I am always surprised when these moments hit me. The fleeting second right when I wake up, and I feel like it was all a dream. A horrible long nightmare. Then, my brain kicks my heart all over again an I remember. You are gone from this physical existence that I must endure. How many years will I have to live without you? How many times will it all run through my mind like a bad movie? How many times will I ask why?