The Magic of it all..

I am fully aware that this pain will be with me all the days of my life.
I just wish it would give me a little warning. The past few days have been heavy. We had a great weekend, Wolfgang had a blast for Halloween, but it’s always there. The loss.. The bombardment of Holiday crafts, recipes and decorations is tough to deal with. I can’t help but think of all of us, moms especially, that put on smiles, bake, decorate and plan for the Holidays, when all we want to do is scream. I want more than anything to be planning, dragging the decorations out of storage, stocking up on food and figuring out where everyone is going to sleep. Trying to get some kind of answer from Wolfie and Artie on what they want for Christmas, they never asked for anything. There was the one time when Arthur asked Santa for snow.. We were not sure how in the hell we were going to pull that one off, living here in the Southern part of Texas and all. He was totally convinced he would get snow for Christmas. Well, sure as anything, Christmas Eve in South Texas, we got snow. Not just flurries mind you, but several inches. I think Artie always believed in Santa after that, even when he was older. It was all about the magic for him. The festivities, family, the music and of course the food was all he cared about. My favorite part I think was watching the boys shop for each other. They put thought into it, really took the time to get something the other wanted. Watching each of them open gifts to one another is a memory I will always cherish. I pray that I will be able to find some magic this Holiday season. I really am trying. Who knows, maybe Artie can get with Santa and give us a white Christmas..

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