I was thinking yesterday about how hard I try to stay positive and not let Artie’s death define me. But it has become who I am. I am the mom that has lost a child. Thinking on this I realized that the external me has not changed, except for the fact that I have aged 10 years.. What is completely different are my heart and my soul. My heart is broken, never will it mend again. It will never beat as it did before, always skipping at the thought of my loss. My Soul, is not so much different as it is just more in the forefront of my life now. It is like I can feel that my Soul is a seperate part of me. The part that survives this horror because it knows that death is not really the end. My Souls gives me comfort when I cry, pushes me forward when my feet won’t move and gives me unconditional love when I do and think stupid things. My Soul is my connection to Artie. The part of me that knew his Soul before he was ever born in this life. The part of me that loved him always, through out time. Our Souls are all we come here with really, and all that we keep when we leave. The physical form we take is but a temporary vessel for the life we choose. So, as the physical me dies a little each day, my Soul will continue to thrive and prepare for the next journey….
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