The anger is what I hate! I am not typically an angry person. But some days I feel consumed with it. Angry at everything. Families that still have their sons, the people that I feel had some small part in the shit that Arthur went through the last few months before he died. I am pissed that he didn’t talk to me more. Mostly, I am so furious that I wasn’t given a chance to stop it. Just a heads up, a message from my inner mom senses that something was wrong that night. There was nothing. That boys entire life I always knew when something was bothering him. The one time he needed me more than any other, I totally missed it!! How am I supposed to live with that? How do I stop the anger from eating me alive inside?
I don’t have to tell you this Lann, but anger want help. I understand you being angry I really do. You have every reason to be angry. Be angry if you must, but never be angry with yourself. It wasn’t your fault you didn’t know.
Remember had Arthur wanted to, he could have come to you at anytime, he knew that. For some reason he didn’t want to share this with anyone.
Please remember all the good things you always did to be there for him when he needed and wanted you to be, this is in no way your fault. Please remember there was nothing you could have done.
I love You