If this does not make you think I have totally lost it, nothing will.
So, I was working in the yard today. This is an all day thing around here with weeding and mowing etc.. I was mowing up close to the house so I was going pretty slow on the mower. Being careful not to run over anything I was carefully watching where I was going. My eye caught a small white ball moving through the grass. Trying hard to be more mindful of all creatures, I move it out-of-the-way with a stick not really knowing what it was. Here in South Texas we have some crazy bugs so I didn’t pay much attention. As I was getting back on the mower something else in the grass got my attention. It was a Wolf spider. Now, let me tell you, I really am terrified of spiders. It has gotten better since I started this journey but I still am not fond of them. I was going to go about my business and ignore said spider when it occurred to me it seemed almost frantic. Moving very rapidly from spot to spot in the grass. At first I though maybe I had run over it and injured it or stepped on it. But hey, it’s just a spider right? I sat there on the mower, just watching fascinated by how fast this things was moving, back and forth through the grass. In the area from which I moved the white ball…. And then it hits me.. This little tiny white ball was her egg sack. This creature, that I really do not care for, was a mom just like me. It all made sense now. The frantic movements were her looking for her babies. And for a brief moment, I imagined her feeling the pain I have felt for the last eight months. Through my tears I went searching for the little white ball that I tossed out of harms way, or so I thought. I was beginning to panic because I could not find it. The last thing I wanted to do was cause any living creature the same pain I have felt since Arthur died. Finally I found the tiny sack up next to the house. Then I am face with having to figure out how to get it back to this mama. She is still frantically searching by the way! I get a leaf and gently scoop it up and lay it as close to her as I can get. For a second my movement startles her so she does noting but sit in a frozen stance. Then she sees her sack and runs and covers it with her body. No movement, nothing just a mama protecting her young. I am blubbering by this point and reeling from the lesson that the universe has just taught me. Every person, every living creature feels love for something. Not all in the same way but it’s there, in some form or another.. Does this not prove we should treat every creature with respect and caring? It certainly changes my view on spiders..