Blessings and My Garden

I got a full day of yard work in today. The garden is starting to look less like a jungle now.
Working out there was tough today. I miss Artie so much. Around 4:00 I was working and had a flash of him walking through the back gate saying ” hey mom, whatcha doin” and I would ask him how his walk was and we’d sit on the swing for a while and talk. This was pretty much an everyday occurrence when the weather was good. How I wish I could stop feeling like this. As much as much as I want to keep it together, some days it’s  just harder. . I keep telling my self that once we get to the year mark it will get better. We will have made it through all of the “firsts” without him.  All of the birthdays, the holidays, the first garden, Spring and Summer. I pray that I will not fall apart everyday. I pray that I will sleep every night. I pray for God to stop this pain, but I know it will never stop. I will continue to cry my silent tears for the rest of my life because part of my life is gone.  The only thing that keeps me from giving in to the horror of this is that I have always believed in counting your blessings. Always, and by the the grace of God I have many.