I was thinking last night about this whole life thing. We are given life, we live life, some enjoy it, and many struggle through it, and eventually our physical life ends. How many ever really know our purpose while we are here? Why am I in this body right now? When Arthur left I began to really contemplate the reason for all of this. Why my son, why now when EVERYTHING in our lives was perfect? Was this all a grand plan set forth long ago. What the hell am I supposed to learn from this?
Most people would agree that our existence is arranged long before our birth here. My purpose is and always has been to be a caretaker of these four beings that call me mom. I have always been meant to love them in life and now in the afterlife. When Wolfgang was born and had his medical problems, I found a strength in myself I did not know existed. A strength I got from him, and the love I had for him. I had no clue that was just the beginning of learning about the strength we gain from being mothers. Living without Wolfgang was never an option. I will always believe that I willed him to survive. 🙂
Arthur’s leaving has just brought forth more of the reality that I have a purpose here. If not for this purpose, I could never face this life without him. I could survive, I could continue the process of life. But if not for my purpose, I would just be going through the motions. Artie is still with me in Spirit.. He is still my son, brave and beautiful, and he has completed his journey here on earth. It is I that is to continue now in this journey, a purpose Arthur and I shared. To care for others, love and respect life for what it is, not what we think it should be. Change what we can and accept what we can’t.
And so, I go on….