Grief is a real Bitch!

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Do not expect to feel anything that you expect to feel, or anything anyone expects of you. I remember thinking right after Arthur left that I was going to be fine. The first week I cried alot sure and I was pissed at the world, but I almost felt like it was not so bad and I would go back to life as usual. Then everyone went home, Kurt went back to work and the numbness wore off. The house was horribly quiet and then I realized this was no dream, Arthur was not coming home from camp after 4 weeks, he was gone from this life for good. Every passing day the realization of my loss was becoming more and more apparent. In all honesty the first couple of weeks were the easiest, after that, more and more things occur to you that your child is not a part of. If you have many good days in a row, you can’t get to comfortable with that. Grief can be a real BITCH!! Just when you think you have some control over your emotions, a song comes on the radio, you see a movie you know your kiddo would have enjoyed or just a memory crosses your mind. And you fall apart. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Embrace it, cry, or scream if you must, do whatever you need to do to get through it. Own this grief and don’t let anyone tell you how to manage it. It is really all about you right now..