Facebook sent me a reminder of my post three years ago today. It was Christmas pictures of the family. The boys seemed so young. Artie was 11 and Wolfie was 10. What I would not give to go back and know what I know now. Maybe it would not make any difference, maybe no matter what we could have done it was just Arthur’s time to leave us. He had already lived so much life in his short 14 years. His journey here left so many of us with a joy in our hearts.
Our vacation was a wonderful, though temporary distraction from the reality that waits for me back home. Going home after a trip has always been a welcome thing. Not this time. It just brings everything back to the surface that I have kept put away for the last two weeks. I am almost certain if I could look in my chest, my heart would only be a fragment of what it used to be. No longer does it beat like it used to. It skips every time I think of what is now missing in my life. My beautiful boy.