Hello from the road!

Working on some issues with Traveling Skateboard page. Will be working on that today. We are in Oklahoma headed toward Kansas. Our fur babies are being taken care of by our “kids” back home. Thanks Donnie and Adrianne. We love you guys and are missing you. My parents unfortunately could not make this trip with us.
We love you two very much and hope you know you are in our hearts as well.  Missing Arthur on this trip is an understatement, but I am grateful for the opportunity to make it and spend time with my family.  I will be getting the Skateboard page up as soon as possible. Have a blessed day all and stay tuned for our adventures..   Much love!!!!


Woohoo! Almost here…

Tomorrow is the big day. We hit the road for our Holiday Vacation! Although this will be a sad reminder of Christmas’ past, I am looking forward to spending time with Our daughter and her family. It will be a great adventure. I have no doubt that Arthur will be with us every leg of this journey. I will be posting everyday to the Traveling skateboard page so stayed tuned….. Love you all and want to thank you all for your love and support. I will be noting the special signs of Arthurs presence as well.. There have been several the last few days so I think he is as excited about the trip as we are.. 😊
Please feel free to comment on anything you like. Just say hi, tell us about your loved ones that have passed and how you remember them during the Holidays. If this is your first Holiday with out them, take a deep breath and smile because they are still with you in spirit!

Once again, smelling the Roses

Now I’m just getting downright lazy! 😃 I slept 9 straight hours last night. Not dreams, that I remember, not once did I wake and look at the clock.

Quick story…

Went to Walmart last night, yes I know I try and avoid it but I had to get a gift for our son-in-law and it is the only place that carries it. So anyway. Checking out the cashier asked me if we have special plans for the Holidays. Immediately the tears well up, in my eyes as I tell her about our trip and the reason behind it. It was so clear from her face and the couple in line behind me they they were truly compassionate about our story. No pity, they didn’t even really seem to feel sorry for me. Just true, honest compassion. It was refreshing and it made me consider several things on the way home.
In a society of crime, poverty, homelessness and what we generally see as a “for each his own” mentality are we missing the loving and caring that is in all of us? Have we become so accustomed to the down side of things that we expect it? So this Holiday and hopefully always after, I will look for the good in everything. Even at Walmart!!

Have a Blessed Day!!

Finally some sleep.

I apologize for the really crappy post the last couple of days. Unfortunately as I have said before, I have no control over my emotions. Some days I think things are finally leveling out then BAM! I become a blubbering fool all, over again. Something did occur to me though. Feeling these things, these raw, painful emotions is normal in grief. The loss of a child is not comparable to anything else. The reason we feel so much pain is because we loved our child. We have memories of happy little snotty nosed kids. Little movies that run through our minds of us tying shoes, singing songs and reading books. One memory that I see regularly is sitting with Arthur as a baby, in his first little room, nursing him. The first few days with him, this child I waited for so long. How blessed am I to have had him and even more I am grateful for these memories. So I guess what I am saying is the pain is awful, even still agonizing at times. But the memories that flood me are stronger than the pain and if I keep them running it eases things some.

I am finally getting a little sleep. Actually restful sleep. Someone recommended some hypnotic audio recordings to me and they actually work. It’s amazing what a little sleep will do for you! So, today we will finish packing up for the trip. Still have to pick which skateboard of Artie’s to take. I am hoping the boy will give some kind of sign.  😜


Arthur please help me find some peace..

It seems the closer it gets to our trip the gloomier I get. I am trying, honestly I am. Trying to stay busy as much as possible. It still catches me off guard when for a brief moment sometimes I have to actually remind myself you are gone. I walk to your door still some mornings just to stop short when it hits me. And then I cry. More than anything I want to find my life. When your life ended, so did mine. Everything I have ever believed would be is gone. I should not be going on with life without one of my children! But I know I have to. Of course I still have daddy and Wolfgang and the rest of the family. I have friends and the same stuff to do everyday. But it’s just not enough most days. I have become ungrateful for all I have and I hate that. Never have I wanted more than what I have so much. I need to find some peace. Hopefully I can on this trip. I think the lack of sleep is catching up with me. I am exhausted so it is making me feel worse. Time will never heal me but I pray that it will soon bring me some peace. If I could just hear your voice, see your smile or feel your arm around my shoulder… Just once more.

Side note: I wrote this yesterday. I wasn’t going to post it but decided to after all.

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