I have been following a few Facebook groups and some blogs. The biggest topic seems to be about the phrase “Time Heals All Wounds”.
This nightmare just started for our family 3 months ago but I hear the same things from families as far in as 20 years..
All the time in the world will never heal the pain and agony that comes with the loss of a child. Nothing in your life is ever the same. The life you had before is for all intents and purposes is over. You can not simply move on when a piece of your heart is gone. Especially for moms. A real tangible piece of our physical self is just gone. We are never prepared for it. There is no way to explain what you will go through when you lose a child. Every minute your emotions change. Each second your mind races to find a way to fix this! It’s what we do as moms. We fix things. Bumps and bruises, we wipe away tears and snotty noses. But this horror we can’t make better.
So three months in.. What have I learned?? Time is my worst enemy at this point. Some days it goes by so fast I feel lost. Then other days it drags on so slow it is agonizing. I want to make every moment count but some days I just can’t function. I’ve said this before, you have NO control over you emotions. The more time that goes by the more you miss your child. You may have several really good days and think wow, I’ve got this, just to get hit with the heaviness all over again. Like starting the healing process all over. People mean well and for most of the normal sh** life throws at you , time will heal. This is just simply not the case with the loss of a child! We wonder when this pain will ease, when will I sleep through the night, when can I see other families enjoying each other without dying a little inside? I don’t have these answers yet. I can say I have learned to cope occasionally but not on a daily basis. The most important thing I have learned is that the only way to really get through each day is taking it a few moments at a time.
Spend time with loved ones, enjoy the sunshine and talk to your child. Tell them how you feel. Let them know what you are going through. It really is good therapy. Maybe not while standing in line at the grocery store, but do it when you can.. 😀
Have a peaceful blessed day!!
My father died in 1992 at the age of 70. My best friend died in 2012. these two people whom I love very much and are Never far from my thoughts, well just last night I started crying for no reason over one and just said I wished you were still here I miss you. I understand God and death but there are people we never stop missing and I don’t want to stop missing. I can’t even imagine it being my own child. Who one day here I will experience (he has a bad heart) and yes he is in his 40’s but he is still my child. We all go though things different but if we truly love someone shouldn’t we always miss them. I am just so glad I know I will see them again and that day doesn’t come fast enough, but that peace only comes though Christ.