To everything there is a season…

It is a sad thing when it takes a horrible life tragedy to make you stop and smell the roses, so to speak. I want everyone in my life to know how much I love you all. I am honored to have the people in my life that I do. I would say lucky but I am starting to think luck has nothing to do with it. Everything happens for a reason. If I did not have Kurt, our children, my parents and all of you my wonderful friends this would be even more difficult to get through. Maybe each of you was put in my life because God knew this was coming and I would need you all.. All of you had the blessing to know Arthur and because of that hopefully you will cherish every second of your life and the people you share it with. Remember, every person you come into contact with is supposed to be there for some reason.
Try and remember that if you go Black Friday shopping the next couple of days… 😜. I love you all…

Suicide the new Cancer??

When I was a kid Cancer was almost nonexistent. It was something to fear, and you rarely knew anyone that had it or any families affected by it. Slowly over the years that has changed. If you don’t know someone with some form of cancer it is rare.

Now suicide among youth is slowly becoming the new cancer. It was something that you never heard of back in the day. If someone did kill themselves we didn’t talk about it, and it was seldom a young person.
Now self harm and suicide attempts are quickly becoming a fad of sorts.

It is common to know someone or at least hear of someone that has died as a result of or tried to commit suicide.

Kids throw the threat around like its the thing to do on the weekends. I have heard so many teens recently say “everyone says it”. But they don’t think they will actually do it. The statistics are frightening to say the least..

Suicide statistics for the United States

Thousands of teens commit suicide each year in the United States. In fact, suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15 to 24 year olds.

Annual number of youth (10-24). 4600 died in 2012 from self inflicted injuries
Annual number of youth (10-24) 157,000 received medical care from self-inflicted injuries.


Ahhh Monday!!

I like Mondays. Yes I know, only person on the planet. Someday maybe weekends won’t suck so much but for now I live for Mondays. Today our weather is glorious! I use that word a lot lately. Even through my pain I am aware of all I have to be grateful for. Thanksgiving is just a few days away and it’s all about blessings right? Well here are mine.

I am grateful for my parents. Through all of my growing up issues they stood by me no matter what. And by growing up I mean like until I was 40… 😊

My husband, my best friend, the man that keeps me going.. I would not have the strength to have gone through the things that have been thrown at us over the years without him. And there has been a lot!! 😘

My daughter Lilly. I am so proud of the woman she has become. Her family is one of the greatest joys in our lives! ☀️

Michael Stabler, the best son-in-law any parent could ask for. He has always been there for us and the way he takes care of our daughter and grand babies is beyond measure.

Shane, my oldest son and first born. It has been an honor to raise that kid. His daughters are lucky little girls to have him as a dad.

Our youngest son Wolfgang has been a source of joy since the moment he arrived into this world. Even sick he was always smiling and laughing. His heart is bigger than most people I have known in my life.

Our family is so blessed to have Jade as a part of it. She came into our lives as Wolfie’s girlfriend and quickly became another daughter to us. Her laughter and smile brighten our days.

My dear friends, you know who you are, we could not have gotten through this time with out your love and support..

With Arthur leaving us, we all cope in our own ways. Even though there are days when the pain is still almost to much to bare, there is always something to make me smile. This morning it was roses and an amazing sunrise.

Have a blessed and spirit filled day! 🌞 🌹 🌸

The 10 week Mark

Well, here we are at 10 weeks. When this nightmare began people would say, time will make it better. With time you will begin to heal. It just takes time they would say. But what happens is that as time passes, the numbness just goes away. Then the real, pain begins. You have more time to realize how much you are missing your loved one. The daily things that continue that they are not involved in anymore. Watching the rest of the world just keep go about their lives, with the Holidays here it makes this even worse. Families decorating, preparing vacations and spending time together.
What does happen is that you learn to cope. Waking up becomes just a habit that you do. Turning on the coffee pot, making breakfast and feeding the animals. Going about the day like a robot most of the time. The memories of your loved one are always right at the front of your mind. Everything in your home, your yard, the grocery store, when you pass his or her favorite park, or the mall they liked to hang out at. These reminders are everywhere. For myself it is impossible to ignore them. I still cry everyday. I don’t have complete break downs though. I laugh with Wolfgang and Jade and smile whenever Arthur crosses my mind. I wake up waiting to hear from Kurt, this helps a lot. Knowing I have him by my side gives me strength. I pray that I will heal and have this heaviness someday lift from my heart.

You may be right, I may be crazy!!

I will be damned if this will destroy me! We will continue life as best we can. We will honor Arthur and all those that are on the other side until we are standing in the glorious light with them. I know they hear us when we think of them. In my crazy grieving mother moments I speak to Arthur as if he is in the room. I believe with all my heart he has spoken back to me on one occasion. Just a brief acknowledgment to let me know he is still around.
The peace I have at times can only be coming from him through the Spirit. Any of you that know me will think my referencing anything Spiritual is a sure sign I’ve gone off my rocker! I promise you I have not. This is a gift Arthur has left me with.. There have been a few signs I believe are from Artie.
When he left, talking about the situation was hard to say the least. So in order to make it seem less “horrible” I started calling what happened “Arthur’s Shenanigans”. When Lilly was working on our itinerary, she ran across an RV park called Shenanigans.. Guess where we are staying?
There have been other things come about that I will share as time goes by. You may think I’m crazy, and that’s okay. I might very well be, but it gives me peace that at times pauses the agony. I will take that anytime I can get it.

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