Some nights I just can’t sleep. The mind can really torture you when you are sleep deprived. The unanswered questions and doubts that run through my mind I can hardly deal with at times. My mind tells me Arthur is fine and having a blast with family, old friends and I am sure many new friends, but my heart is dying a little everyday it seems. I refuse to let this continue to bring me down. I WILL NOT become a shell of a woman grieving for the rest of my life! My life has purpose, meaning and so many reasons not to just go through the motions. So…. Starting today…. I will go forward, I will find happiness in every moment and I will see Arthur’s smile and hear his laughter whenever I feel myself falling again.