Other than to not having Arthur here with us, the emotional roller coaster is the worst part of all of this. One day I do pretty well, the next I am a wreck! Some times it will go smooth all morning and then I fall apart at night. Or some mornings I just don’t want to get out of bed at all. I am emotionally exhausted most days. I have to keep reminding myself that it has been such a short time since Arthur left us. This feeling that there should be something I can do to fix it won’t go away. I have always been able to fix every problem that has come up. Not this time. Nothing I do will ever change what has happened to us. No amount of prayer, begging or dare I say deal making will bring Arthur back to us. I have tried it all. There have been times I still go to sleep at night thinking it has all been a horrific nightmare and when I wake up he will be in his room, getting ready to start the day. But it never happens that way. Sorry for the rambling. Just one of those days..
You only speak from the depths of your heart Lann. Love you